It's been more than a year. Karma means that you can never erase your past. Never forget it. You can run as fast as you want but it will catch up. Like it has with me today.
I urge you to examine your life minutely. Minutely - for those who missed that. Is it your life?Is it truly your life? Or are you living a life based on what other people have made you believe is your life. Maybe you are leading the life which they wished for themself. Because they ended up living someone else's life. Are you going to do the same?So when time comes tomorrow you get someone else to live your life.
I wonder - how it is that we always know what is right and what is wrong for other people. For their lives. But when we face the same question - the answer is never that straightfoward, never so simple. Sometimes the answer never comes. Maybe we have never truly led our own lives. So we decide how other people should live and they decide how we should. They live our lives and we live theirs. So are we accumulating their Karma and they are our accumulating ours? Think about it. I am certainly going to.

It's that time again. Time to follow my karma. Time to write my blog and fulfill my karma. When karma beckons nothing in this universe can stop you from its call. In fact what is the universe ? If not the creation of all the karma of the things which exist in it. Universe. Karma. No beginning. No end. No height. No depth. It just is.

Was listening the other day to the gay classic song - Karma Chameleon by you know who...Boy George. Must listen for all gay men of this universe, I think.

" I'm a man without conviction
I'm a man who doesn't know
How to sell a contradiction
You come and go
You come and go"

Conviction. Very important for every gay man to believe in his conviction- I AM GAY. Happens at different points of time in the life for each gay man. His karma determines it. Until then he has to bear the suffering of not being able to sell the contradiction. I AM GAY. Neither to himself or to anyone else. Once he has it he starts building his gay karma. Karma which will help him lead the rest of his life without contradictions.

Don't remember exactly when I got my conviction. But I remember telling myself. I AM GAY. I AM GAY. I AM GAY. First time at age 10. Never had to say it again. My gay karma took care of my contradictions after that. Boy friends came and went. Those who had their convictions definately lasted longer than those who had not. Contradictions put an end to the others. Conviction. Once you have it. You will always have it. I AM GAY.

Then begins the search for love. True love. Some say it is an eternal search. In that case I have to profusely thank my karma. For I have found it. True love. But how does one know that they have found it ? I do not have an answer.

One just knows. Karmas of all your lives will conspire to ensure that you realise it.

Its karma's karma. Nothing else.

My first post. Karma. Everything is karma. I thank my karma I am gay. I am different and I am proud of it. Still closeted but I am sure it will not be before long that I will be out. Guess karma will take care of that.

Have.... I think found true love. Have been going steady with my boyfriend of 3 years now. I thank my karma....I am gay. How else would I have met him. Been the recipient of his unconditional love. Known what it means to be truly loved.

So this is me. Gay. Indian. But not in India. 25 and looking forward to a happy and Gay life. Have lots to do in life. But first get my boy friend to be with me. I followed my Karma and left India. He followed his and is still there. But we are still united. In love. Our karma brought us to together first time and it will keep us together for the rest of our lives. The dream will never die.

Its Sunday night. Need to get to sleep. Wont be before long the next week will pass by. Will have accumulated more karma by then. Hopefully positive and not negative. It always balances out...doesnt it ? That's the karma of karma...................i think.

Next post? Lets see when the karma for it beckons. I am sure it will soon.